this day...

... did not keep its promise. when i left the hostel, i was really happy and excited. but that wore off pretty quickly. why? i blame it on the sleepless night i spent at the airport. but i'm not sure. i wonder, whether i might have had a wrong opinion about travelling alone all along. i always believed that i find this format most enjoyable, because you are really concentrated on your environment and not busy with someone else.
i also believed that i enjoyed my previous lone-travel experiences. but when i think back on them in the mood i'm in now, it seems to me that it wasn't that enjoyable at all.
today i felt really foreign and a bit lost. but there are more aspects to that which make this state of mind really hard to interpret: (1) i'm really tired. (2) barcelona is so similar to genova that it made me really sad and nostalgic. the "barri gotic" is very similar to genoa's "vicoli", for example. (i took them to be unique.) -- but barcelona ressembles other cities, too: the "passeig de gracia" could be just as well in paris (actually it's similar to the "champs élysées") or even in göteborg, as i remember it -- or zürich! (i wonder when these buildings were built -- in the beginning of the 20th century? earlier?) (3) i don't speak the language, which is all the more frustrating as i do understand a little bit, but cannot respond.
also there are a bunch of things which actually are not enjoyable alone: going out and going to a restaurant. so i won't do that.
i also have the urge to escape into the green. i think this is actually possible.
but i really like my hostel as it is in the real city-city: barcelona's champs élysées. ;-) unfortunately i have to leave after two nights, which is annoying.
maybe these kinds of city-trips are not enjoyable to me any more? i have the impression that i saw quite a few of them now. but the thing is: you need to live in them, find native friends, speak the language -- that's something completely different. or maybe i'm in the road trip age now? i do remember the road trips we did in the usa as being highly enjoyable. freee..
no, it will be fine. it's all just the tiredness. and i will see the park güell tomorrow. you need to read "in the shadow of the wind" by carlos ruiz zafon. i wish i had the book with me. it plays in barcelona. it would be so sweet to retrace it...